One of my recommendations to everyone is to play a sport when you are young, It could be any level e.g. intra-school, inter-school, district, state etc. as well as any sport including some armchair sports. The point being you learn to win but even more, you learn to lose. Some, if not most of us are hard-wired to become winners by our parents, friends, family, community, organizations etc. Recommendations for fostering a winning mentality include reading about the win-win approach, using report cards to provide encouragement, and rewarding good performance. Organisations also get in to the act by promoting winners and perhaps, wrongly classifying some, who don't get promoted as losers. One of my earliest companies had an unwritten rule that if you didn't get promoted it was time to leave.
Setting goals, winning races or elections is important as it provides a sense of accomplishment and recognizes talent and discipline. However, losses tell you where you need to get better (and how not to get bitter). In this journey of life, we will all have our share of losses and may not win all the time. Politicians realise this better than most and stay in the game till one foot is in the grave, since they never know when one can win.
If everybody was a winner or a leader, there would no losers or followers. However, over the last few years, we have seen polarisation in different parts of the world into right/wrong along different parameters such as religion, country, political affiliation etc. It is difficult to retain your sanity when WhatsApp forwards or FB posts increase this sense of polarisation.
What lessons do you learn from experiencing losses? Perhaps you were not as prepared or not skilled enough. Maybe you had an off day and got off on the wrong side of the bed, or you are getting older and your skills are waning. Your opponent(s) were better that day/month or just better. Losing creates bitterness and angst, often culminating in victim mode if you get to self-pity stage.
I started playing basket ball when I was 14, a bit late in the day...I was not talented in comparison to the other players nor did I have the benefit of coaching or an ecosystem that supported me ( at times getting proper shoes itself was a challenge). I have been beaten, insulted, rebuked, called names which I cannot write on a blog.... well you get the picture. However, I owe a large part of my life to what basketball taught me. To get up every day (with pain) and show up is something that I still do every day. It doesn't matter if I win or lose, succeed or fail, it's just being in the game is what I love. Even now, my hair stands up when I see a brilliant move or watch a fast bowler torment a batsman.
Are you afraid of losing? Maybe it's time to wake up and just be in the game .... you will realise that itself is the biggest victory of all.
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