In every home, there’s that one door. Come rainy season, it swells, refusing to close properly, demanding our attention in practical and metaphorical ways. We’ve all had to battle with it — do we force it shut, risking that it might jam entirely, or leave it slightly ajar, allowing for a draft or an awkward encounter? This obstinate door is a simple annoyance, yet it becomes an apt metaphor for life’s many unresolved spaces — what we might call the “grey zones.”
The persistent problem of the door that won’t close offers a profound parallel to life’s recurring dilemmas and ambiguities. Some parts of life resist closure perpetually, whether it’s the sporadic performer at work or a lingering personal conflict. They linger, nudging at the back of our minds, creating a sense of neither wholly disruptive nor completely ignorable tension.
In Indian philosophy, there is a reference to Trishanku, a mythological figure suspended between heaven and earth, belonging to neither. This concept aptly describes the grey zones we encounter in life and work — situations that neither resolve nor disappear but hang in limbo, nagging us with an “open loop” that refuses to shut.
Just as trying to shave the door during the rainy season will cause it to fit too loosely when dry, forcing closure on some of life’s grey zones can often lead to long-term issues. Consider a high-performing employee who shows up with bursts of brilliance but lacks consistency. Their contributions are like the much-needed rains, providing value in bursts but leaving us waiting and wondering in between.
How do we manage such inconsistencies? Do we push for an all-or-nothing approach, potentially alienating a valuable contributor? Or do we tolerate the unpredictability, hoping that, like seasonal rains, their brilliance compensates for their absence? These decisions are rarely black and white, and the discomfort of leaving them unresolved can lead to a kind of mental fester. As the philosopher Søren Kierkegaard observed, “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” We often lack the luxury of hindsight in our immediate decisions, which keeps us uncomfortably wedged in grey zones.
Grey zones are particularly pronounced in the workplace, where not all policies, people, or situations fit neatly within established frameworks. According to a report by McKinsey, employees working in environments with high ambiguity and low clarity report higher stress levels and decreased job satisfaction. Yet, grey zones in work environments are unavoidable. They stem from the unpredictable nature of human behaviour, market shifts, and the complex interplay of individual goals and team objectives.
This “door that won’t close” phenomenon can be seen in ongoing projects that lack a clear end goal or in policies that are either overly rigid or inconsistently applied. Addressing these grey zones requires leaders who can balance structure with adaptability, providing enough guidance to manage ambiguity without stifling flexibility. Leadership expert Warren Bennis noted, “In life, change is inevitable. In business, change is vital.”Learning to manage rather than eliminate ambiguity is crucial to staying adaptive and resilient.
How do we live with these doors that don’t quite close, the loose ends that persist? The key may not be seeking resolution at all costs but becoming comfortable with unresolved spaces. As life coach and author Michael Bungay Stanier argues in The Advice Trap, we often jump to solutions prematurely. Instead, he suggests, we should “stay curious a little bit longer.” This means sitting with discomfort, asking questions, and exploring possibilities rather than rushing to closure.
In many ways, the real skill is developing a tolerance for ambiguity. Leaving a door slightly ajar doesn’t mean we’ve failed; it simply means acknowledging that some things aren’t meant to be entirely shut. In both life and work, certain doors require flexibility and patience. Learning when to close a door firmly and when to leave it cracked open is a subtle but profound skill that emphasises balance over resolution.
While grey zones can be frustrating, they’re often where personal and professional growth occurs. Carl Jung observed, “The greater the contrast, the greater the potential. Great energy only comes from a correspondingly great tension between opposites.” In other words, the tension we experience in these unresolved spaces can catalyse deep insights and innovation, pushing us to explore new ways of thinking and acting.
Consider the high-performing yet inconsistent employee again. Instead of demanding constant conformity, perhaps there’s an opportunity to adapt roles or expectations, creating a space where brilliance and reliability coexist without tension. It’s about learning to see the swollen door not as a defect but as an invitation to approach the problem differently.
The door that won’t close reminds us that life is full of unfinished business, of things left unsaid or unresolved. Sometimes, the best approach isn’t to force closure but to allow openness to recognise that not all problems need immediate solutions. The persistent grey zones, the Trishankus of our lives, challenge us to accept ambiguity, become comfortable in liminal spaces, and make peace that not all doors need to be shut tight.
As we navigate the rainy seasons of life and work, perhaps it’s enough to remember that doors will always expand and contract with the elements. Our task is not to control the seasons but to learn the art of living with a door that won’t close, finding freedom in the flexibility it requires of us. Ultimately, these unresolved spaces may be where we discover the most about ourselves and our capacity to grow, adapt, and thrive amid uncertainty.
Steve Correa is an Executive Coach and Author of The Indian Boss at Work, Thinking Global, Acting Indian
Ronald D’Souza has Corporate and Consulting Experience and mentors new startups.
This article was published on Medium on 26th Nov 2024.
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