The eulogy by my uncle's friend started with these words. He was only 65 years old when he passed on from this world last Monday. The last couple of years were very difficult for him as diabetes increasingly got the better of him. But, this is not about how it ended but how he lived. He was born in 1947 and his entire life reflected the spirit of independence. He was the only son with four sisters. In the 1960s, as a teenager with a diploma in automobile engineering, he joined the air force. Although not active in the forward areas, he was involved with the wars on India's western and eastern borders. He would occasionally come down to Mumbai and my earliest memories of him were bringing the Agra petha and taking me to see the inside of an aircraft. He always thirsted for knowledge and completed an MA in economics while still serving in the air force. He looked great in his air force uniform and had more worldly experience than anyone else in our family. After his retirement from the air force, he decided to stay in Mangalore. He built a new house and coaxed life out of fallow land. The coconut trees, vegetables, flowers and other vegetation are a standing testimony to his effort. As if on cue, a couple of coconuts dropped on the day of the funeral.
He worked hard, whether it was running a transport company or supporting the community. He closed the company when times were tough. He was always available and willing to share his knowledge. My brother tells me how he explained the Air India plane crash in Mangalore in fifteen minutes. There have been instances when he has delivered materials for folks to build their house without charging a single rupee. He could regale you with stories, which very few would have heard about. He once threatened to contest elections, forcing the candidates in the fray to come to him to withdraw. He did withdraw, but only after getting assurances that the development work in his community would be carried out. After the elections, he followed up on the assurances as well (we all know how politicians promise and hardly deliver).
In our professional life, we seek role models, mentors, and coaches. However, they sometimes fail to meet our expectations, or we outgrow them. Perhaps, it is time for us to look for inspiration from our family and friends. How they enjoy life, help other people, manage adversity and build character over a period of time. In some ways, it also brings us closer to our family and friends. I have been pretty obstinate about being my own man, but have ended up being defensive about my beliefs. I am growing as I watch, listen, and understand. This growth used to feel unreachable not long ago. It's time we live!
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